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First off ,I would like to thank the 1560 Secret Society, for starting
and contributing to the "Get TwistedJoker to Bar Golf" fund and
hooking up a round trip ticket. It was a great time - what follows is my experience - my trip the way I saw it, details left out to protect the innocent, the anonymous, and the others involved.
Thursday,December 11th
Woke up @ 7:30, packed, rode 2 hrs to Omaha to catch a flight to
Chicago to catch my connecting flight to Houston. Uneventful trip, to
Chicago then as I was flying out of Chicago I noticed a White Castle
right outside the airport - I will remember that for later.
Landed in Houston, met up with my ride- pretty much laid low the
rest of the evening.
Friday,December 12th
Woke up and left to go to Nicks Place for the Nickstravaganza - the live broadcast of John and Lance. Since everyone I know in Houston is usually at work, and I don't like to rely on rides to places, I was using the bus (I'm pretty familiar with it from living there and riding it to work). I was as far as the Galleria, and called to find out if the broadcast was actually going to be live today and got hung up on, so I called someone I knew to see if it "sounded" like they were live somewhere other than the studio. They said "it sounds pretty quiet, no background noise". So i walked around the Galleria, and went back to where I was staying.
Got back there and started listening to the end of the show, when
I realized they were live @ Nick's - so back out on the bus heading
to Nicks. Got there long after the show was done, but Hoffy and Nuno were there doing their show. Met WWE wrestlers MVP and WWE Womens Champion Mickie James. As well as Milly from the 1560
chat then a little bit later, Sportchic45 came and we hung out for a bit.
I was waiting for Doughnuts to show up, and he showed up right as I was leaving to meet someone else over near where I was staying. Nothing real else happened.
Saturday, December 13th BAR GOLF DAY!!!!!
Met everyone @ Buffalo Wild Wings in Rice Village for the tee off of Bar Golf 2.0 - The Drunkening and the Secret Society Toy Drive in Ethan's Memory.
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Bar Golf - 2.0 The Drunkening Course
The course was set and I was determined to represent to the fullest and beat my score of a very casual +8.
My Bar Golf gear explained. Last time, Bar Golf 1, I wore checkered shorts, BLUE SOCCER SOCKS (not fucking leggings or tights or whatever the popular myth is) and my Knicks colored Starburys,blue, black and orange -AKA "my Bar Golf Shoes" - I left them in Houston last time, and then forgot to take em for when I packed to fly back from the Mug Awards.
Anyway, I decided, blue soccer socks, and my Bar Golf shoes, are a perfect start to some highly obnoxious golf gear - I needed to add to it- I had bought a pair of Sean Jean shorts of ebay, brand new for $50 off retail, $25.00, got them cut down to some "knicker style" shorts. Since it was the holiday season, I got a candy cane striped "Cat in the Hat" hat and "holidayed" it up with some blue xmas balls,and rocked the "guyliner" for the BLCS and the glowstick - for the Glowstick Library, and the Mardi Gras beads from SportsGirl.
We decided that the group,Will, Machine, Tom and TwistedJoker - would take turns buying the rounds. Autra was the caddy/scorekeeper.
The following to the best of my knowledge what I had to drink and anything eventful at each location:
-Hole 1: Buffalo Wild Wings - Par 4
My Bar Golf Foursome teeing off
1 Bud Light 1 Kamikaze
My score = par
-Hole 2: Kelvin Arms - Par 4
This was my hole to buy the round - for some reason the bartender
1 Bud Light - 1 Kamikaze
My score = par
-Hole 3: Benjy's - Par 5
Part of the 60 person Bar Golf 2.0 Crew in Benjy's
This place is hilarious, not so much the place, more the people and their reactions. This is a probably normal lounge area when bar golf is not in session. Something, about the crowds don't mix well. This time there was only one Benjy's patron that thought it might be good idea to voice what the majority were thinking and quickly realized, "all those people in black shirts - they're all together".
The Chach and his couch
1 Bud Light - 1 Kamikaze
My score = par
-Hole 4: Ginger Man - Par 3
Pretty sure this was a beer only hole.
After the long walk, and a magic heater, this hole is a little foggy.
I think this was the the place that was out of Bud Light, or something.The effects of the alcohol and the heater, kicked my ass.
2 Miller Lites (fuckin hate Miller Lite)
Still on Par for the course
-Hole 5: Brian O'Neill's - Par 4
This used to be my 2nd favorite spot in Rice Village.
Don't exactly remember why I quit going over there, anyway.
I was pretty much out it by this hole. I believe this is where I was with Op Shutdown and Tony I Am A Texan, when they met after all the fucking with each other in the sports chat.
Choked down 2 beers, I think.
I was still on par- up until this time
-Hole 6: Little Woodrow's - Par 3
This is the arrival at Little Woodrows Hole 6
That's me stumbling into the street in the video and then say "How can I end up in the street on
Pretzel and TwistedJoker - Hole 6 Video Interview
bought the round - drank 1/2 glass of water I don't remember a lot of this hole thankfully there is video and photographic evidence.
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1/2 cup of ice water
my score = Disqualified
Puking = Disqualified
-Hole 7: Two Rows - Par 4
MIA
During this hole I went back to Buffalo Wild Wings for an order of wings.
-Hole 8: Baker Street - Par 4
MIA
-Hole 9: Buffalo Wild Wings - Par 4
Since I was already out,and had previously made a trip to Buffalo Wild Wings and had a bag of take out, I ate my wings while hole 9 was going on.
After hole 9 completed, it was tied Big K and Crawfeeeeeeeeeeeeesh both @ -16... incredible. So it was determined that this battle must be decided by road side gymnastics- presided over by Will - Bar Golf Commish and Seanie the Cablinasian - Bar Golf Godfather. Will is the bearded dude yelling shut the fuck up, and Sean is the balder guy officiating (for those reading , that know me, and not the secret society)
Sunday, December 14th - Guest on Thunder Rd Show
Woke up early, to go on a mission for blue doughnuts -I'll explain.
The 2 guys that host The Thunder Road Show - Jeff Blue and Doug Johnson are in the 1560 chat room, and for some reason DOUGNKATY looks to me at a glance like DOUGHNUTS which is now Doug's screen name. Blue's screen name was Ya Boy Blue,and since I have been suggesting a show name change
to the Blue Doughnuts Racing show - I thought I would bring blue doughnuts along with the St. Arnolds Elissa IPA. Blue doughnuts weren't too easy to find, so I settled for kolaches from The KolacheFactory which is right up the street from the studio.
Met Doug at the studio to go up and be a guest on the show. I know nothing about motorsports, I mean if its on I will watch. I made the original mix of the show intro and was also there in the beginning of the discussion of making the show,
and I have the original demo for the first show, they did the 20 minute un-aired show.
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Me in studio behind a mic, actually participating in the show
Below are the mp3s to the Thunder Road Show (four parts - mostly covering Bar Golf.)
Spend the afternoon messing around the Galleria, watching people
scramble for last second gifts.
Monday, December 15th
Quiet day, shitty weather only 2 things I had planned were more
things I wanted to do: go to the dog bakery and get some dog biscuits
for the puppies 1st birthday and check out open mic night at The
Laff Stop - something I have wanted to go listen to for a while
and never have.
ready to go out to eat at Los Tios.
We got to the restaurant, I was with a couple, the chick asked the
hostess if we could get a window seat, which were booths right
along the front of the parking lot. Those booths were full and she
seated us in the middle of the restaurant, near the back of to the
side of the kitchen.
The food was pretty boring and bland considering all the places
in Houston with great Mexican food, this wasn't one of them.
I was just barely finished, when there was a load rumbling, sounded
like thunder followed by screams. This all happened behind me -
I turned around in time to see a FedEx/Kinkos in the restaurant,
right where a booth had been. Some old guy got disoriented and
wrecked 4 cars backing and pulling forward before shooting that
van thru the wall.
FedEx -Thank You, please drive thru
Tuesday, December 16th - Flying Out
Got to the airport around 8:30 am for a 9:05 flight, with no tickets or boarding pass, since I forgot to print them out - another thing I had planned for yesterday. Got everything squared away nicely, no hassles at all. Got on my flight last, cause at the last minute I wanted to grab a Houston Chronicle in case there was an article about Los Tios. Got on the flight, took off headed to Chicago. Scheduled to land sometime around 11 am I think.
We landed and I had about an hr and half layover. It was snowing lightly, but I was on, oddly enough, being in Chicago,(Blues Brothers reference) a mission from God or something. As I was headed out of the airport terminal area, there was Jake and Elwood Blues in the airport tearing it up silently, in fiberglass statue form - I took that as a good sign for my mission. A little further down, there they were again, chillin' on a bench, hmmm this must be destiny. Went past TSA and asked the first airport worker I saw, how to I get to 63rd and Ciscero and they pointed which street was Ciscero someone suggested I take the 63 Ciscero bus.
Got a Crave Case -30 burgers, and had the lady pack them in 3
carryout bags then straight into my backpack.
Took off back for the airport. Went thru TSA and on my flight back
to Omaha.
I met this pretty cool chick at the airport waiting to board the flight,
she was a med student at Brown, headed home for the holidays.
I didn't get her name or any of that.
by an off duty airline worker and some kid. Tried to sleep on the plane.
After about an hour, the pilot came on the PA and said we might be
landing in Kansas City since there was no deicer in Omaha and the
Customer Service reps would be meeting with us.
A little later the pilot comes on and says, we are about 30
minutes from landing in KC.
Then a few minutes later comes back on the PA yet again to let
us know, they found deicer & we are now 30 minutes outside Omaha.
Finally, we land, and we get stuck in traffic, and cant get across Omaha - finally after rush hour, we get out of Omaha and home, around 8:30 that night, perfect, I could have driven from Houston to where I live and made the same amount of time as flying.
(no idea why I am smoking a "magic heater" next to some stranger)